Apollonia, unmartyred

Apollonia, unmartyred

 

The sting never lessens, the pain only grows,

The ache ever worsens, and with it doth my woes.

The tears never stop, even when my face is dry,

Day and night may swap, but the darkness of my soul covers each and every sky.

I hate being with people, I hate being alone,

I hate seeing couples, their peace I’ve never known.

I hate seeing you, your perfection breaks my heart,

You pulled a mighty coup, and then you tore my world apart.

I wish that I could hate you and turn my grief around,

I wish that I could spurn you and my love that I could bound.

I wish that I could fade and disappear to naught,

The weeks just keep on passing, desolation’s all they’ve brought.

I never understood you, you never let me try,

Each time I take a breath, I just wish that I could die.

I cry aloud each night, Oh Lord! Please let me turn to dust,

And blow away with the wind, to disappear in a gust.

I cannot eat lest I throw up, and alas dislodge my soul,

And lose it down the eery sewers of Satan’s toilet bowl.

I should jump into the fire, though no martyr I would be,

For I don’t think even death, from my pain could set me free.

 

Warrior Princess

Family Betrayal

Family Betrayal

There are no ports in a storm,

Betrayal is an everyday norm.

Friend or foe, family or beau,

All can be sure to stoop that low.

Lies become truth for a quiet life,

And when discovered, tears are rife.

Sister and brother, father and mother,

To protect their interests, God they’ll smother.

There is not one that one can trust,

Honesty be damned and fidelity cussed.

They kill themselves for a cup of tea,

But yet from a head cold they do flee.

Murdered by the telly in front of which they sit,

Sucking at its doctrine as at their mother’s tit.

Warrior Princess

Somniare Apollinis

Somniare Apollinis

 

I just want to stay asleep in this dream,

Where you remain perfect in each and every scene.

Right here with you my heart is bursting at its seam,

All the world is rose-tinted and everything is clean.

 

Here you still smile and your eyes still beam,

Here you have never let me down or nasty been.

Here I can let you reign over me supreme,

Here I can pretend that I am your queen.

 

This is the place where we are a team,

This is the place where on you I can lean.

This is the place where you are held with esteem,

This is the place where our souls can convene.

 

Here there is one love and you are it’s theme,

Here everything shines with a glistening sheen.

Here we float along in a celestial stream,

Here there are no words that us can demean.

 

All the world is so perfect and everything is pristine,

Right here with you my heart feels safe and supreme.

Where you are in my arms and oh so serene,

I just want to stay asleep in this realm. 

 

Warrior Princess

Luminous Lady

Luminous Lady

Oh look at who has now come home, My Lady lost so long ago!

Upon the blazing fire one night, She was tossed by a woeful foe.

Today She stood amidst the trash that others tried to sell,

Ever graceful and dignified; oh how my heart didst swell,

To see Her nobly holding court, Her silent glory shone,

Among the dust and brassy tat, where all the junk had gone.

My soul did bless this precious find, my heart did start a sprint,

The sheer delight to see Her stand, upon Her rounded plinth.

For eighteen years was She lost to me, Her effigy had burnt,

Now here She stood in front of me, by Michael to me returnt.

No price too high, for She belongs to me, my life as ever Hers,

To rescue Her from heathen hands, to save Her from the curs.

Tonight She’ll rest upon Her altar, beside Her Son, My Lord,

From this day forth, again shall She, be blessed and ever restored.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo leo

Apollo leo

 

Is there not one man among you fit to at least reach for the stars?

For I shall set you on the moon my love and sing to you each night.

When all of time combines and dies, your legend still shall live,

For I shall write it on the hand of Mick, that he can tell your fame.

Around the angel banquets up above, your tale shall ever sound,

Among the clouds of God’s dear land, you shall walk and hear them told.

And you should surely curl away, declaring you’re not fit,

And bellow at me in fiercest fury, but I shall never bend.

As in a savage raging temper you set the world on fire,

I will stand on solid ground amid your hurricane of spite.

Before God I will defend each word I wrote, for all are true of you,

For in fear alone is bravery found, as every epic tells. 

As I shall turn to peaceful dust and blow upon the winds,

I know that I shall knit your name among the stars above.

And there they’ll see the greatest lion, still ready to attack,

All who dare to look and see his perfection glimmer through.

For darkness is but the absence of light and hatred that of love,

The shadow between your shining stars, is where I’ll hide my heart.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo est diaboli illusio

Apollo est diaboli illusio

 

All in all it was but the devil’s illusion,

Apollo was nought but a Godly allusion.

I fell for it as stupidly as Adam and Eve,

Such foolish naïveté I could barely conceal.

He played on my heart like a satyr his lyre,

As the ruin of my soul he did cruelly conspire.

He destroyed every hope I had for mankind,

And proved they are wicked and innately maligned.

He showed the hypocrisy of those who claim faith,

To be their guide to the most Holiest Gate.

 

All in all it was but a kamikaze sin,

Apollo was nought but terrifying jinn.

I fell for his charm and the spell of his eyes,

Such a stupid ignorant that I fell for his lies.

He played on my soul like a cat with a mouse,

As the ruin of my heart he did gleefully enounce.

He destroyed every hope I had for my life,

And proved I am wicked and riddled with strife.

He showed the hypocrisy I hold in my hand,

As I struggle to let go and live as God planned.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo est cor meum confractus

Apollo est cor meum confractus

 

He’s full to the brim with fabulous ideas,

He’ll inspire you to write a thousand arias,

But he’s less reliable than an autumn day,

As he’s been known to ghost you to get his way.

And if that doesn’t work, he’ll throw a strop,

He’ll shout you down and just won’t stop,

But he has a smile that will break your heart,

When he shines it on you, it’ll tear you apart.

The joy in his soul bursts through his eyes,

To be his focus is the ultimate prize,

But he’ll shut you down without any discussion,

He’ll crush your opinion with hostile suppression.

It’s an endless battle to have a voice,

When his ideas are the only choice,

But he has my heart and I can’t get it back,

And I really don’t know if I can survive this craic.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo Delphis

Apollo Delphis

 

‘That which was shall be again’, so said the Delphic Oracle,

Apollo did not fail to shine, he’s not that cynical.

And though I pouted, God continued to govern,

He had patience with me, despite me being stubborn.

 

‘A change of mind, well justified, evinces strength’,

Only the Oracle then knew what all this meant.

Magnanimous throughout my storm, Apollo did not fail to shine,

He spoke no ill nor did he me malign.

 

‘Give credence only to those things that do not demand, expect, or desire it.’

I do not know whether the Oracle means I should stay or I should quit,

But then I see him like a knight upon the battlefield,

Where his chivalry is always and ever well revealed.

 

‘Lo, if indeed it must come to an end, take pains to conclude it with dignity.’

The wisdom of the Oracle is found in its paucity.

And so that which was is now again as once more I sit as confused as then,

Does Apollo wish us for us to be friends, and if so, why no time with me he spends?

 

Warrior Princess

 

Apollo dolorum

Apollo dolorum

 

Every breath is a conscious effort, just to stay alive.

My diaphragm aches within, as the tears come down in waves,

They wash away my numbed out heart and crash upon its depths.

The twirl of grief within my bowls, twists reams of sorrow tight,

Binding up my chastened thoughts, in knots of afflicted recall.

The ancient curse upon my spirit, shackled there by God,

So that He can yet again once more, mock my foolish prayers,

And remind me that true love will never live, anywhere next to me.

 

I ever die upon the thought, of losing you this way.

My heart was built to only ever break, scalded by the pain,

Of loving you and losing you, never more to hold your gaze.

Endless is eternity, gaping like the hole within my heart, a hell of infinity,

Waiting there to swallow me whole, hostage to its end.

To dust I wish my heart to turn, and take my soul along with it,

To dust, to dust, to dust to turn, for me God ever shuns,

In dust shall there true peace be found, where all will finally end.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo mordet ut leo

Apollo mordet ut leo

 

When I saw your face before me, oh how my heart didst soar, then crashed beneath the floor,

For thou didst disappear so fast, and I wished to be elsewhere; anywhere but there.

I shall never look upon thine eyes again; my heart, my soul, my eyes I shall emend.

The pull of tears within my breast, didst drag my prayers from God, and left me feeling gnawed.

 

Oh how thou madest me a thing to toy, as thou sauntered gaily near, my heart to taunt and soul to jeer. 

How impatient thou wert with me then, oh how my heart didst break; it provoked my soul to ache.

I wonder if thou art even real or just a dream I had, that now a wraith doth walk this earth, to cede to angels mirth.

I can never be again the woman I once was, for drowned within a sea of sorrow, is my dear departed morrow.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo incendit mundum

Apollo incendit mundum

 

My soul lies wounded on the desolate wasteland of disregard.

The pain rips through my heart as a tornado through a long abandoned lumberyard.

The anguish of the casual scorn pressed upon my unsuspecting repute,

Hacks a trail of stinging, spinous misery which my brain can ne’er compute.

I flail within the turbulence that sweeps my bewilderment to an unbefore acquired height.

The abjection beats upon my breast as the breathing storm doth spit upon my plight.

I die within as all that I hold dear is subject to the ridicule of one who does not know best,

As I cannot seem to make him see or understand my very simple, uncomplicated request.

My honour weeps beneath the irate eye that incinerates it with derision and disdain,

Smarting from the shock that emanates from the gory wounds of outrage and of shame.

Until at last debased, demeaned and dead, it capitulates and hides within the shadows of the past.

Scorched beneath the unforgiving inferno, burnt to an ash upon the wind, I lie upon my bed aghast.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollo non amat me

Apollo non amat me

 

He loves me, he loves me not,

He loved me, and then forgot.

He talks to me, he talks not,

He talked to me, and then forgot.

 

He cares for me, he cares not,

He cared for me, and then forgot.

He texts me, he texts me not,

He texted me, and then forgot.

 

He dotes on me, he dotes not,

He doted on me, and then forgot.

He rings me, he rings me not,

He rang me, and then forgot.

 

Warrior Princess

The Mayo man and his bucket

The Mayo man and his bucket

 

Daily he toils, the Mayo man and his bucket,

Rehoming the pebbles as he patiently waits. 

Daily he fetches, the Mayo man and his bucket,

The neptunian grasses as the hours slowly past.

Daily he wanders, the Mayo man and his bucket,

Up and down the shoreline, passing the day.

Daily he presses, the Mayo man and his bucket,

The stones on the track, he’s slowly unfolding.

Daily he cements, the Mayo man and his bucket,

The seaweed through stone, to perfect his path.

Daily he undo’s, the Mayo man and his bucket,

The damage of storms, that this way hath torn.

Daily he works, the Mayo man and his bucket,

As all of the beachgoers, stroll in oblivion. 

Daily he perfects, the Mayo man and his bucket,

The trail ‘neath their feet, without ever a word.

 

Warrior Princess

 

Interrogans Apollo

Interrogans Apollo

Who do you believe, I dream of each eve?

Who haunts my dreams, leaving me in reams?

What should I do, now that I can’t talk to you?

What can I say, at the end of each lousy day?

Where can I go, to escape from my woe?

Where can I flee, to set myself free?

When shall this earth, bring an end to this dearth?

When shall at last, this heartache be past? 

Which is the right course, that I should endorse?

Which way should I roam, to find my way home?

Why are my thoughts, eternally in knots?

Why can’t I control this pain, which has my soul slain?   

How can I ever, my heart from you sever?

How I have cried, I feel like I’ve died.

Warrior Princess

Flens Apollini

Flens Apollini

I miss you,

My heart is breaking, it is more than I can bear and there's nothing I can do.
I miss you.

Warrior Princess

Paradisus amissa

Paradisus amissa

 

I always saw it coming, and now the day is here,

I sit within the vacuum of a bubble made of tears.

I know it is my fault for remaining who I am,

Whether saying what I think, or calling out a sham.

And so I pin my pictures of the briefest memories,

That from this day forward shall fuel my reveries.

Upon the walls of doubt where all my distrusts hang,

I tack the nails of pain that across my soul doth twang.

I bedeck my void with thoughts, of how it might have been,

If I cared less about being true, or dressed to be seen.

The nothingness I festoon with sentiments now past,

As I confine myself within, my fortress oh so vast.

I never could do right, for all the wrong I’ve done,

So hiding with my dreams, your realm now I shun.

 

Warrior Princess

An Ode to Me

An Ode to Me

An ode to thee who let me down and didst so repeatedly,

An ode to thee who failed me so and didst so pronouncedly.

An ode to thee whose faith in me was never freely given,

An ode to thee whose trust in me was never, ever striven.

An ode to thee who set me up and bound my path for failure,

An ode to thee who mocketh me and beat my thoughts peculiar.

An ode to thee who fixed my limits and never let me pass them,

An ode to thee who enslaveth me and didst always me condemn.

An ode to thee who could ne’er contend that love was meant for me,

An ode to thee who despiseth me and would never set me free.

An ode to thee who runs like hell when heaven finally beckons,

An ode to thee who drags me down when joy doth finally reckon.

An ode to thee who would have my heart, destroyed among the flames,

An ode to thee who for all time, attacks my soul, and shames.

An ode to thee who will without doubt, ruin this Godly gift,

An ode to thee who will I’m sure, hurl my heart adrift.

 

An ode to thee who fighteth back against her very self,

An ode to thee who stood up strong as every blow was dealt.

An ode to thee who ne’er backs down and battles all year round,

An ode to thee who draws her sword and always stands her ground.

An ode to thee who plays the game and wins when the odds are low,

An ode to thee who cherishes hope and nurtures it to grow.

An ode to thee who bears the cross of living in this realm,

An ode to thee who clings to God when humanity doth overwhelm.

An ode to thee who stands up tall and takes the world to task,

An ode to thee who hides her fears and never shakes her mask.

An ode to thee who looks like them from whom she ever hides,

An ode to thee who paddles hard but through her fears she glides.

An ode to thee who finds new paths far from humanity,

An ode to thee who left behind the liberal insanity.

An ode to thee who faces threats and ne’er did one she flee,

An ode to thee who embraces life and lives it ever free.

Warrior Princess

Apollo Animam Meam

Apollo Animam Meam

I’d follow you to the ends of the earth, always at your side, 

I could wrap myself in your arms and wait there till I died.

I’d lay my head upon your chest and listen to your heartbeat,

I would hold you close and sleep in peace enveloped in your heat.

I’d feel your every muscle move, as in safety they’d keep,

My heart and soul secured in them, protected from the deep,

That nevermore could drag me down, anchored to your soul,

Forever harboured in your arms, where my dreams doth stroll.

Warrior Princess

Turbatus ab Apolline

Turbatus ab Apolline

Oh how my heart soars, whenever my phone pings,

When your name pops up, oh how my soul sings.

I feel like a fool but I can’t stop the smile,

And I indulge in the bliss, at least for a while.

I wish I could talk to you about oh so very much,

I wish I could reach out and your face I could touch.

I prattle a while about some nonsense or other,

And all of my insides are all of aflutter.

 

Oh how my heart will break, when it all goes awry,

When you finally move on, oh how my soul will cry.

I feel like a fool but I can’t stop the flame,

And I indulge in the dream that will lead my pride to shame.

I wish I could let you go, oh so very much,

I wish I could reach out and all my sense I’d clutch.

I rattle a while thinking how I’ll screw it up,

And all of my insides are running amuck.

 

Oh how my heart doth wish, that God this ache would bless,

When I kneel before Our Lord, oh how my soul confess. 

I feel like a fool but I can’t stop the prayer,

And I indulge in the yearning, that soon will be my slayer.

I wish I could make you want to be my friend,

I wish I could keep you with me, until my very end.

I battle a while against my very heart,

And all of my insides from this love cannot depart.

Warrior Princess

Apollinem Tabulae Rotundae

Apollinem Tabulae Rotundae

 

The world tried to drown me, in the depths of despair, 

A war in my soul, it did gleefully declare.

It quickly descended and tore my heart asunder,

In my confusion I stumbled, as it battled to drag me under.

My eyes flowed with tears as I couldn’t see the way,

As I railed against dear God and forgot how to pray.

I tripped and I fell, into the quicksand of hell,

As the pain that doth dwell, in my core began to swell.

 

I began pulling up all roots, to retreat to the refuge,

To once again save myself, from Satan’s evil rouse.

Confirmed in betrayal of all that I hold dear,

It tore through my soul, like a serrated diamond spear.

Then in the darkness did thee dawn, thou wrested me from woe,

And tenderly did set me down, and then did hope thee sow.

The solace that thou brought, could nowhere else be sought,

The comfort that thou wrought, reduced the pain to naught.

 

Thou made me smile and knitted the wound,

Thou caught my fall and sat me on the moon.

Thou wrapped me close, with thy warm affection,

I felt secure in thy noble protection.

I thank the Lord that He did send, a saint like thee to me,

A giant of a man art thee, who flew to set me free.

A tender, kind and loving soul, a perfect knight thou art,

Eternally I think that thee, may ever hold my heart.

 

Warrior Princess

Apollinis incantatio

Apollinis incantatio

 

He catches me in his eyes and holds me there,

In suspended animation without a breath or care.

My heart is silenced and thoughts explode

Into a thousand tiny stars that billow, then slow.

The pain within my chest where time endures,

But my soul from time has now detoured,

And everything that time holds dear is now obscured.

 

In this moment he has stopped its constant folly,

Secured me from its desperate flood of melancholy.

He will not break his eyes from mine,

And all I see is from his soul, his shine.

I know I fill the vacuum with an endless babble of words,

That leap about us like a thousand tiny drunken stewards,

And still I squeak and chatter like a silly teenage lovebird.

 

His smile doth bring a breathless silence to this life,

And all of life he holds within his efficacious might.

My lungs cry out for sweet relief as they do wish

To be freed from this divine celestial anguish.

My heart still cannot remember how to toil,

As within my afflicted breast it doth twist and moil,

And the vitality within my cells doth burn and roil.

 

In the briefest second it all has passed,

As oxygen doth flood my brain again, at last.

And still I cannot tear my eyes from his,

As through my soul a thousand tiny butterflies whiz.

My heart it pounds as it holds my babbling words in contempt,

And still my foolish words spill out, addled and unkempt,

As from any semblance of sense they are self-declared exempt.

 

Yet never once does he appear to flinch,

As time from paradise me doth pinch.

To place me squarely back within this earthly plane,

Feeling ever foolish before this princely swain.

He stands so close that but the breath of God doth part us both,

As just above the ground I softly float,

Without all control of the twittering that still escapes my throat. 

 

Warrior Princess